Sunday, February 18, 2007

OFFICE BLUES

Note: This thread is dedicated to all those who think they are doing well in whatever they do without even relating/comparing themselves to the best!

November 27th, 2006: I step into the office. I am shown around, introduced and shown my seat by my supervisor. I like the office, I like the people. They have successfully created their best first impression.
The next one month, I see myself going through a flurry of documents, cases and references. And then I hit the pause. What are all these? Most of DO relate to my theoretical background, but how do I convert it into a practical one?

And how helpful will my co-workers be?

Names avoided, lets call my immediate colleagues A, B, and C. Each one is a different character to the extremes.
A loves being the knowledge bank, and is good at it. Everytime I asked B or C about anything, there were those looks of concern!!! And here I am, scared to death, because everybody will be questioned about me before they make me a permanent employee.
B is cool, silent and smiling, and the experience inside makes B closer to perfection in work, and is often used as an apple-to-apple comparision with my work. B is helpful and a delightful co-worker.
Now C is also a delightful coworker, but touchy at times. Unsolicited suggestions are communicated with a touch of seniority and they sound as if other options would land me in trouble. And I oblige, my ideas of efficiency thrown away for a continous input of idiosyncrasies!!!

I feel disturbed.

If I work, work and work, and not communicate, I will be branded a nerd. And if I communicate, my work is disturbed. By communicate, I do not mean the discussions related to the profession.

Are they evaluating me?

Am I happy with what I chose to do and what I am doing?

The life in office has become monotonous. Not a very good thing to say for a person who started work just three months back. The "reminders" that I am not designed for an 8-5 job, as Kamal said, are kicking me in the butt.

But my financial dependence stops me from looking for freedom. But I will be free one day...I am waiting for the day...when I'll have nobody dictating terms to me. Nobody evaluating me! Nobody forcing their inefficient ideas over me.

Weary...yet wary.



2 comments:

Swathi said...

i likd da way u handled da blog wid gr8 sensitivity....in 1 word 'nice'!!!!

Anonymous said...

Your ethos and pathos and their bathos are quite understandable.

Wishing you get what you actually seem to think to get....at the earliest....